Song Study - "Bartender"

If I go
Before I'm old
Oh, brother of mine
Please don't forget me if I go

Bartender, please
Fill my glass for me
With the wine you gave Jesus that set him free
After three days in the ground

Oh, and if I die
Before my time
Oh, sweet sister of mine
Please don't regret me if I die

Bartender, please
Fill my glass for me
With the wine you gave Jesus that set him free
After three days in the ground

Bartender, please
Fill my glass for me
With the wine you gave Jesus that set him free
After three days in the ground

I'm on bended knees, I pray
Bartender, please

When I was young, I didn't think about it Now I can't get it out of my mind

I'm on bended knees
Father, please

Oh, and if all this gold
Should steal my soul away
Oh, sweet mother of mine
Please redirect me if this gold

Bartender, you see
The wine that's drinking me
came from the vine that strung Judas from the Devil's tree
His roots deep, deep in the ground

Bartender, you see
The wine that's drinking me
came from the vine that strung Judas from the Devil's tree
his roots deep, deep in the ground,in the ground

I'm on bended knees
Oh, Bartender, please

I'm on bended knees
Father, please

When I was young, I never dreamed about it Now I just want to run and die

I'm on bended knees
Oh, Bartender, please Bartender, please

"Bartender" by Dave Matthews
I think the "Bartender" is GOD. Dave tends to do that, write about GOD and Jesus ithout using the names per-say. In this song, he does interchange Bartender with Father.

Any thoughts?

Hello Again

Well, lost our home and had to move away...far away.
Had asked for help moving, but the masses turned to pray
Our lives left hanging, frozen in the day
Labeled as dirty, we were thrown away

We have reached safety, and man what a ride
Our true friends walked with us, stride for stride
To the ones who cringed to be by our side
As Bono says "They could not take your pride"

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I really want to thank Chris Mraz and her great kids for letting us into thier family and helping us in so many ways.

We have landed. Beth is in school and we are still waiting for the district to get Daniel started. I think the hold up is Powhatan is being slow at sending files, even though they told me they would do it "right away".

We had to leave behind so much. Furniture, electronics, clothes, cooking, food, etc. We had asked for help moving this stuff, but someone spread a completely unsubstantiated rumor, causing (almost) everyone to turn thier back. Slander and defamation can only be judged by the amount of actual damages such as the monetary value of everything that was left behind. It is good for some people that I am not the vengeful kind. What happened hurt, I mean it really hurt. It was so idiotic that it hurt even more. The funny thing is, not one of us has ever shown a symptom. So who started the lies? Not sure, but I know who spread them. And they did spread...like wildfire.

The last day we went to church even, people who normally shook our hands turned the other way. Some went out of their way to avoid us. A church that had so quickly made us feel at home had just as quickly made us feel unwanted. Unworthy. Dirty. Unwelcome. Oddly enough, I still like the church and its' theories. Some of the people are still tops, but the rest really need lessons on the dangers of gossip.

Nebraska is beautiful. The best beef and corn in the world is found here as well. There is work here. We will survive and eventually thrive.

It's good to be home.

Song of the week

Take off my shield
Carry my sword
I won't need it anymore

Find me a sky
Give me my wings
Frozen and broken but free

Tell them I'm all right
I'm coming home
Tell them I'm all right
I am alone

This war is over
I'm coming home

Take off my shame
Bury it low
I won't need it anymore

Find me the sun
Give me it whole
Melt all the chains in my soul

Tell them I'm all right
I'm coming home
Tell them I'm all right
I am alone

This war is over
I'm coming home

Take off my pain
Carry me slow
I won't fight here anymore

Tell them I'm all right
I'm coming home
Tell them I'm all right
I am alone

This war is over
I'm coming home

- Mellisa Ethridge
"This War is Over"

Song on YouTube - http://youtu.be/uK4BIQK8Zkk Someone made a cool soldier tribute using this song, and it is cool...BUT to really hear the song, close your eyes and listen. Let your mind drift with the music.

One last thing...it has a  killer bass line ;)

Brief Thoughts From This Past Sunday

This Sunday past, we learned about the labels we and others give us. It surprisingly hit home fairly hard, especially during the video piece that illustrated the "Shouts" and "Whispers". You see, for many many years in my life, I had people shouting things like "useless", "idot", "failure" very loudly and very often. What surprised me is that even though it has been 9 years since I removed myself from that situation, the shouts are still louder than the whispers. I am really having to do a gut check on why I still allow those voices in my ear. Why is it that I still duck when I fold a towel wrong. It's crazy. I really want the whispers to overcome the shouts. Seems I have a bit of work to do on that one.

Sunday evening, we were so fortunate to witness the ordaining of Pastor Green. It was very awesome. Even though this event was clearly about the acomplshments of this one man, there was something said that I and my family found very powerful.

It was the first speaker, and I am so sorry that I do not remember his name. He was reflecting on when he had first entered into doing God's ministry. He said the God first breaks a man before calling him into service. Ok, that's interesting enough, but if you know me, you know that physically, I have been broken for years, and spiritually, longer than that, to the point of utter and total despair at times.

That made me wonder, does God have something in mind for me? Even my 7 year old precious daughter looked at me and said "Dad, your leg is broken". So what do you think?

So this Sunday past was pretty darned interesting indeed. One of the things that Pastor Hughes said some time ago is one of the things that I really like about the whole PCC attitude. He said that he was not here to give us all of the answers, but rather to give us things to think about. This Sunday past, I got lots to think about!

~DannyB

Hello Darkness, My Old Friend...

You've come to talk to me again. This time, however, I am not so eager to listen. In years past, I would have gladly opened my door, my mind, heart, and my soul and let you in. Not anymore. No longer do I wish to dwell in the caverns where light is just a rumor. No longer is the "Music of the Night" my first choice. (Phantom of the Opera reference if you didn't already know).

There is warmth in the light. There is peace there. Daily, you make your presence known to me. Daily, you tempt me with your hardships and your trials, but you will not win.

Oh, there are times when I just want to crawl in a hole, but the light doesn't let me stay there long. It will not stand to see me manacled and beaten, afterall, I do not deserve it.

The funny thing is, I have been working on this post for 5 days now. When I started it, I had intended to give into the darkness. My spirit broken as if it were never more than a mere dream, with no true substance. Since then, I have been back and forth a couple of times now, until it dawned on me that no matter what, no matter how dark the times, there is hope. There is a reason and an end in near sight. Things will not always be so glum that we all just want to give up. I keep hearing messages as if God were picking me up by the scruff of the neck and saying "Hey...wake up! I aint givin' up on you, why should you?"

So there it is Darkness. Though I still haven't been able to banish you for good, you are on notice that I'm don't wanna play with you any more. We may go a couple of rounds, but if you are lookin for a long term relationship, then you are barking up the wrong tree!

~DannyB

The Greatest Thing You'll Ever Learn...

...is just to love, and be loved in return.

This, of course, is a quote from Moulin Rouge, one of my favorite musicals starring Nichole Kidman and Ewan McGregor. The first time I heard that line, I knew that the raw truth behind it would be with me the rest of my life. However, what I did not forsee was how many ways it would touch me.

I look at this lesson in two parts. First: "to love" and second: "be loved in return". First, lets look at the ability and power "To Love". In my opinion, this is by far the easiest of the two lessons. I live to love. My family, my friends, my passions. Each and everything I love, I love fully and with a passion that is my driving force. Despite this, I still have more to learn about love. Currently, our church (Powhatan Community Church) is running a series on "Relationships That Rock". Thus far, the teachings have taught me a thing or two about loving without condition. Love, indeed, is a many splendid thing.

Now, for the far more challenging and probably more important, "To Just Be Loved In Return". To feel the love of another is a powerful feeling, a wonderous, warm, and fulfilling set of emotions that just make you want to love even more. It is a flow, a balance that is hard to find but vital to any relationship. Sir Paul McCartney once wrote "And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make". With this argument in mind, in order to be able to expand your ability to love, you must allow yourself to be loved. Furthermore, consider the one you love. if you do not allow them to love you and show you that love, then are you not stopping them from learning lesson #1? Afterall, if you truly love them, you would not want to hinder thier lessons in life and love, and to feel the beauty of being able to love with all of thier conviction?

Love, and just be loved in return.

I think I've got it, at least in my personal relationships with physical beings.

Now for the hardest part of this lesson for me. My relationship with Jesus. Again, it is easy to love Jesus. The hard part is accepting his love unconditionally. It is hard to believe that no matter what, Jesus really does love us. Romans 8:35 tells us "Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? 36 (As the Scriptures say, “For your sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep.”[n]) 37 No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us". I have read this so many times now, it is almost committed to my memory.

But the truth is, to surrender myself to the love of Jesus is a lesson I am desperately trying to learn. As many of you know, me and my family are on the verge of losing everything. Starting tomorrow actually and the scriptures tell me to trust in Jesus for he will provide. Jesus will help us find the things we need to survive.

I have to say, I have seen this in action. Our friends at PCC have been doing Gods work by picking us up and providing all of our needs while we wait on the red tape that is binding all of our resources. They have provided us with so many blessings, I have been simply overwhelmed by the love of a God that, through others, have made sure my children are well fed; that my wife has her medicine that helps keeep her alive; and that provides transportation so that we can do what needs to be done when it needs to be done. So why is it, here in our darkest hour, that I still let fear rule me and I do not allow myself to bask in Gods love? Why is it that I deny God the ability to let his love flow through me like a river, cool and refreshing?

Like I said, this is a lesson I must learn, and hope to learn fast. I love God. I love Jesus. Completely. It is easy to do and not just because we are supposed to. However, to allow myself the full glory of his love, and to trust his love, is my daily struggle.

I guess Lennon / McCartney said it best when they said "All You Need Is Love"

The Whispering Pond by Tracy Buetow (my lovely wife)

Sad little girl at the tip of the whispering pond. She looks down into the dark reflection and sees the sky in her eyes. A feather is resting in her small hand, but blows away in the wind.

Help me rest in the unmovable.

Laughter mixed with sweet sighs of relief, toned in hues of pink and blue. Streaming waves of oil bonding to toes garnished with rings of forgiveness. Red is filling the path before this that is so innocent.


Help me give it all to the love from above.


Here in the gateway between loss and gain, we are washed in the pouring rain. With a sense of endless life, a guide in the confusion, tossed but not fallen, sinking but never drowned.


Help me to be baptized in the truth sometimes known as Jesus.


I take her into my arms and whisper “I love you”. We know now a Father who is untouched by the greed of this pain and together we believe. Torn from the womb of grievance and spinning in the mystery of a love that does not leave us.


Help me to know I am complete.